Cr@psule Monsters 1/Transcript
Cast (in order of appearance): Yugi, Yami, 4Kids, Grandpa, Téa, Tristan, Joey, The Pilot, Alex Date: 4 September 2007 Running Time: 5:12 Transcript (In a large fog filled room with pillars in it) [[Yugi Muto|'YUGI']]: (walking) That's weird. Everything feels different somehow, it's almost as though I've fallen into another dimension or something. (sees Yami being held by some dark, mysterious monster) Pharaoh! What's going on?! YAMI: (being held by dark monster with glowing red eyes) It's 4Kids, Yugi. They've unleashed something evil. YUGI: Hey! Let go of my partner! 4KIDS: (talking through the monster) He belongs to us now. YUGI: Who the hell are you? 4KIDS: We are 4Kids, and soon the whole world will know and fear us, even more than they already do. Be sure to visit our website at www.4kids.tv. YUGI: (in his bed, rolling onto the floor) No! You bastards! (falls) Oof! Geez. For a second there I thought I was stuck in a crappy spin-off show. (Title sequence; "Get Down Tonight" plays) YUGI: (walking, humming "We're All in This Together" from High School Musical, stops in front of the game shop which has a closed sign on it.) Hm? That's weird. Grandpa hasn't come home yet. (Flashback) GRANDPA: (tying his shoe) I'm going on a secret expedition. YUGI: But what about the game shop? GRANDPA: Oh, you can take care of that, can't you? YUGI: But who's going to take care of me? I don't have any onscreen parents. I'll be all alone. GRANDPA: (with his finger in the air and winking) Seeeecret expeditiooooon. (End flashback) YUGI: (thinking) Why did I even bother rescuing him from Pegasus? CAPTION: spoilers!!! (At school, Yugi is playing a game with Téa) [[Téa Gardner|'TÉA']]: Hey, Yugi, this board game kinda reminds me of Duel Monsters! YUGI: Duel Monsters? What's that? TÉA: You know, the card game. YUGI: I'm... not following you. TÉA: Duel Monsters. The card game. You play it all the time. YUGI: Sorry, Téa, I don't know what you're talking about. But this Capsule Monsters game is super-special awesome. Kids should definitely ask their parents to buy it for them. TÉA: I don't even know you anymore. [[Tristan Taylor|'TRISTAN']]: (off-screen) What's crackin', homies? (appears) YUGI: Tristan! CAPTION: applause (sound of canned applause similar to that from sitcoms) TÉA: Hey, Tristan, you remember Duel Monsters, right? TRISTAN: (holding a game piece up to his face) Capsule Monsters... Must... play... Capsule Monsters. [[Joey Wheeler|'JOEY']]: (running into the classroom, tickets in hand) Guess what, guys! I just conveniently won four tickets to India! TRISTAN: What a shocking and unexpected turn of events! TÉA: Let's ditch school and go there right now. I'm sure our parents won't mind. (outside, walking) JOEY: (raising his legs at ridiculous levels, while walking, even while Tristan speaks) Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! TRISTAN: I can't wait till we get to India. I wanna meet Pocahontas. JOEY: Yeah! And all her little woodland friends! YUGI: Um, guys, I don't think Pocahontas was— JOEY & TRISTAN: (singing) Can you paint with all the colors of the wiiiiind... YUGI: It sure is exciting having our very own spin-off show. Do you suppose we'll run into Bakura? TÉA: Nope. YUGI: Kaiba? TÉA: Nope. YUGI: Mokuba? TÉA: Nope. YUGI: Duke Devlin? TÉA: Nope. YUGI: Marik? TÉA: Nope. YUGI: So, are we the only characters on this show? TÉA: Well, Shadi shows up later on. YUGI: (flat voice) Oh great. Shadi. I'm excited. (At the airport) JOEY: (off-screen) Eh, eh, wait up you guys! (on screen, panting) TÉA: Quit lagging behind, Joey. JOEY: I think I dislocated my back. TÉA: (smiling) Tee-hee-hee! Joey's stupidity is an endless source of amusement. PILOT: (very effeminate sounding) You must be our lucky prize winners. Just follow meeeeeeee. TRISTAN: (much louder than necessary) I think the pilot is gay! YUGI: Oh you don't know that. PILOT: (in a sing-song voice) Aaaall aboooooaaaaaaaard! (Shot of a plane) PILOT: (voiceover) Thank you for flying with Camp Airlines. If you look outside you'll see some faaabulous trees! TÉA: This must be what God feels like! YUGI: Hey, Téa, wanna join the Mile high club? PILOT: Oopsie! (screen starts shaking) TRISTAN: Hey, what gives? PILOT: I'm afraid we're going to crash. This is so not faaaaabulooous! (Ride of the Valkyries plays, then a large explosive sound) (shot of Yugi and the gang sitting on the island) TRISTAN: I am frustrated by the fact that our plane crashed. TÉA: Bad news, guys, the pilot's dead. JOEY: This is a perfect opportunity for a Lost reference. TRISTAN: No, we're not doing that. JOEY: Oh, come on. Don't tell me what I can't do. TRISTAN: Oh, okay. Maybe just this once. (They walk through the woods) JOEY: Let's go find the smoke monster! TÉA: Hey, this is kinda like being back on Pegasus's island. JOEY: (looking back, grinning) Who? (Seeing someone collapsed on the ground, running over) TRISTAN: Look! It's an Indian! YUGI: Tristan, that's not an Indian. TRISTAN: You're right, I'm sorry. I meant to say 'Native American'. [[Alex Brisbane|'ALEX']]: (completely white) Thank you for rescuing me. My name is Doctor Alex Brisbane. I'm definitely not a villain. Yugi's grandfather and I were on a secret expedition. But then Yugi's grandfather went missing unexpectedly. Did I mention I'm not a villain? (They arrive at a large pyramid with two smaller pyramids on one side of it, and stand on a cliff above) TÉA: For some reason, that pyramid reminds me of Mai Valentine. JOEY: Who? (walking on a path) ALEX: This pyramid was built by Alexander the Great, he conquered most of the known world. And then hundreds of years later, Oliver Stone made a crappy movie about him starring Colin Farrel and Rosario Dawson's breasts. TÉA: What a fascinating story. ALEX: You're saying I'm a villain, aren't you? Admit it! (They are climbing across a cavern using an indentation on the wall, and moving their hands along it while their bodies hang loosely) JOEY: This is just like playing Tomb Raider! Except it's actually fun. (In a dark room with a map that looks like the Capsule Monster's playing field) ALEX: This room is where your grandfather disappeared. YUGI: Wow, look at the floor. It's covered with some sort of map. It looks...familiar somehow. TÉA: Yeah, it's just like the dueling fields in Duel Monsters. TRISTAN: What is this "Duel Monsters" you speak of? JOEY: I bet Pocahontas kidnapped Yugi's Grandpa! Don't worry, Gramps! I'll save you! (runs over and steps on the map, the piece that he steps on, glowing brightly, sucking him in) Uh-oh. Nyeeeeah! TRISTAN: Oh no! Pocahontas got Joey, too! TÉA: That bitch! YUGI: I don't know about you guys, but I'm sick of rescuing people. Let's just pretend this never happened. ALEX: You can't mean that you're about to step on that map! YUGI: No, I was just gonna leave. ALEX: So you're stepping on the map, then? YUGI: No. I'm leaving. ALEX: Step on the map. YUGI: Make me! ALEX: Oh, come on. I'll be your friend. YUGI: Look, there's no way I'm stepping on any freaking map. ALEX: What if I told you there was candy inside the map? YUGI: You've gotta be kidding me. I'd have to be an idiot to fall for— TÉA: Hey, candy, that sounds pretty good. TRISTAN: Yes! Let's go get the candy. (They both grab Yugi, jump onto the map, and disappear) YUGI: No! Don't listen to him; it's a trick! How dare you defy me?! ALEX: (in a much gruffer voice, reminiscent of Bakura and Yami Bakura) I knew he'd step on the map. My evil plan is going perfectly. (screen blacks out) CAPTION: be continued... ALEX: (off-screen) But I'm definitely not a villain. C01